Dummies are the real downside of my life at the moment. The reason why I walk into my sons’ room like a zombie in the dark, arms stretched out, trying to avoid the dog, doors and toys left lying around the floor. This EVERY NIGHT!!
I used to jump out of bed at the first murmur but being so tired lately means that I often hear the screams as if they were distant at first. I suppose my whole self wishes that it was not OUR children’s screams but the neighbour’s, because if it were, we wouldn’t have to wake up. Unfortunately more often than not, it is coming from our children.
Last night was a bad night... Victor started the game at 1.33 am exactly.
I check the clock every time. At times, it reassures me: “Great, I still have about 4 hours left to sleep.” I am then thankful to have been woken up at the RIGHT time...
At other times it panics me: “Shit! Elliott will walk in our room in approximately 22 min. If I don’t remove screaming Victor out of the room RIGHT NOW we are doomed!!! Elliott will walk into our room now, demand Milkshake, which doesn’t start for another 45 min, so he will jump on our bed all that time, screaming and asking for milk!! Quick hurry, shit ouch door, shit ouch sorry Nala (doggy)... Victor, where is your bloody dummy? WHERE DID YOU HIDE IT??? Elliott, just go back to sleep darling... it is still night time... look it is dark, you see you can’t see me because it is VERY dark. You did hear mummy bumping into the bloody door? Well it is because it is PITCH DARK!!!! We should all be sleeping, see I’m not lying!
Back to last night... Victor started it; thank you Victor! Craig went to see him and made the very quick decision to bring him into our bed. Victor knows exactly what he is doing... give him a quick cuddle, his DUMMY back and put him back down. If he has made the decision that it is not where he wants to sleep, he screams at the top of his head!!!!! So, of course we have no choice, one screaming child is enough, adding a second one is torture.
So Victor is in our bed and usually he falls straight back to sleep, this time he didn’t. How much fun is there in sleeping? Not much it is much funnier to poke mummy and daddy and giggle! FUN FOR WHO??!
When I finally turn my back and he stopped pulling my hair I dropped back off to sleep... I hate falling deeply asleep with him in our bed, so after a few minute I jump... sweating... breathing heavily and can’t take it anymore. So I take him back to HIS bed. Very gently lay him there and quickly run out of the room. It is easy now, I know where the obstacles are... apart from the dog, who moved!
Back to bed aaaannd sleep! For maybe about 32 min... Elliott is sitting on his bed saying over and over again “dummy, clothe”... Here I come... AGAIN! You are sitting on your dummy and clothe, just move your oversized nappy bum and you will find your dummy and clothe! Kiss and go back to sleep...
I am back to my bed, this time I am granted about 28 min and Victor screams... Why don’t the neighbours have children like them?? Actually why don’t the neighbours have them?
I get to the room and can’t find Victor’s dummy, he is really agitated and so am I! Please God, guide me in the right direction! I need to find the dummy before he wakes Elliott up!!! God tells me to switch the bathroom light on, that it might help finding it quicker than trying to fiddle around the cot and find nothing. I tell God that if I switch the light on I run the risk to wake them up and give the dog the impression that it is her morning toilet break! Oh whatever... I switch the light on and of course the dog thinks it is morning and of course now both children are awake! I still can’t find the dummy, so I move the cot to check if it is wedged between the wall and the cot. And it is! Along with 3 others that I have been looking for ages ago. We even thought that Victor must have got into some sort of dummy trade, as we have been buying dummies all the time lately, but were always short! He was creating his personal stash, so why didn’t he go and help himself?
In the meantime Elliott is sitting on his bed chanting “dummy, clothe”... You are sitting on IT, again!
The dog greets me out of the room, and I have to break the news to her very gently “Not morning yet! It is dark you see...”
It is not dark anymore, it is morning and it is too late for me to sleep...
Dummies are evil, evil, EVIL!!!!!
