Nicola Mc Lean is my hero! Not that I want to look like a peroxide blond with breasts the size of watermelon and with Barbie legs... although I could most certainly deal with the Barbie legs. The boobs? Been there (size of watermelon) hated it and got rid of it (explanation later).
Why is Nicola McLean my hero? This morning she appeared on GMTV with Lorraine Kelly to explain why she was never going to breastfeed... woooohh... very sensitive subject I know. Especially if you know that most people will judge her from the fact that she is; what? A Big-Boobies-Blonde-Page-3 girl? Well maybe... does that mean she is a hair head? Well, maybe not.
Anyway I don’t find appropriate to judge her entirely on this morning appearance, since I tend to take a little longer before judging someone anyway. However I have to say, that on the breastfeeding issue I would have said the exact same thing.
I too decided, from day one of my first pregnancy, that I wasn’t going to breastfeed! The reasons were simple. I had a breast reduction when I was 19 and took the risk of not being able to breastfeed. Ever since and after thinking hard about it, I realised that I would never have wanted it anyway. Why? Well let me be completely open and honest here, and if you looked at the video my reasons are similar if not the same as N McLean’s:
1. I didn’t need this to bond with my boys. The bonding had started the minute I saw their little heart racing on the screen.
2. I wanted to share them 50/50 with their dad and didn’t want to have the exclusivity feeding them. Also meaning that I could rest more.
3. Breast are sexual to me and although I would never ever be shocked seeing other women feeding their baby, this isn’t just for me.
4. I wanted to be as relaxed as possible for my baby and breastfeeding would have been a huge shadow in my happiness with my baby, since it would have gone against my gut feeling.
Call me selfish if you like, but I just didn’t want to breastfeed!
When I was expecting Elliott, if I was asked if I was going to breastfeed, the look of horror on people’s face, when I said no!
Like a lot of other mothers I took an antenatal class with the NCT and the last session was about feeding your baby, or shall I say strictly breastfeeding your baby. There was no mention at all that maybe some women will have to use the bottle, maybe they will come to the dilemma of having to choose formula, and maybe they would wonder which teat is best... What do you do when there is no info to rely on, apart from the one formula manufacturers give you? Of course like Cave Mother rightly said to me, replying to one of my comment on her blog, you cannot trust fully what a manufacturer is telling you, since they are only here to sell.
So what do you do?
When my boss called to check how things were after the birth, he asked if he was latching on OK!! Now coming from a male boss?! Am I the only one finding this out of order?! My answer was “yes fine” just because I had no intentions of continuing this discussion with him.
Just recently I took my youngest to a dermatologist and one of is question was “when did you stop breastfeeding?” or the question could have been “did you breastfeed and if yes, when did you stop?”
Straight after Elliott was born, a little voice told me to at least give it a try. Maybe I was going to find it ok and would want to keep going. My gut feeling was right though and the minute I put Elliott on the breast, I knew I wasn’t going to continue. Well at least I tried I thought to myself. But this insensitive and bully midwife grabbed my boob, as if it was public property and tried to get Elliott to latch on! This was it!! A step TOO FAR!! She is so lucky to still have her eyes in the same place I can tell you!
I looked at her and said “A BOTTLE PLEASE!” she froze and she realised there was no messing about with the mad woman, who’s just been through 48 hours of HELL!
According to a GMTV survey “70% of women go against government guidelines and breastfeed for less than 6 months”. What does that mean “going against government guidelines”? Is it like challenging your parents when you are a teenager and decide to go to that party even if you were told not to go?! Are we not adults here, deciding what is right or wrong for ourselves?!
Some women breastfeed a week and decide it is not what they want and some others decide to leave their child telling them when to stop, happy to breastfeed until long after potty training. Some mums like me, never breastfeed at all! Is there one mum who is better than the other here?
We all got the message that breast milk is best. Baby fed on formula can turn quite alright too. I wasn’t breastfed (well maybe that's not a reference), my husband wasn’t... God there are so many people I know and some I don’t know who all survived formula.
The thing is that I am in a way lucky to be confident in the choices I make. I usually take time to align gut feeling and reason and trust me, I did do lots of thinking on that one. I just didn’t need anyone making me feel as if I was a stupid little girl who needs to be told.
Anyway the point of this post is not to say be rebels and fight against the "breastfeeding police". I don’t believe there is a breastfeeding police either. I just believe that there are lots of concerned mums out there who have difficult choices to make every day. It is all about choices and I would love every mum out there, whether breastfeeders or formula feeders to stand up for their beliefs and do what they feel is right for them!
