Perfectly Happy Mum

What should you do when the naughty step doesn't work anymore?

AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! 

It feels better... I think...

Elliott is driving me to the edge of sanity. I can't cope anymore. I have had enough of being at the receiving end of his tantrums and watching him ignoring me bluntly. I know he is trying to push the boundaries but at the stage we are at, the boundaries are as far as they can go. I know it is his age or a phase, whatever Supernanny calls it, but no matter how much you are warned about it, you are NEVER ready for it! 

Not only he ignores me, but he started kicking, hitting and pushing. For no reason he will walk to his brother push him and laugh. No matter what I try I don't seem to be getting through to him. I feel like I am constantly having to raise my voice or slap his hand for attention and I hate this. God! I shout so much that I am starting to sound like the next door neighbours!!!  

Oh and just before you say naughty corner, it doesn't work anymore. The naughty corner is fun, he goes by himself. The naughty step is fun, his brother comes to grin at him. The only thing that works is his bedroom on his own, door closed, but I don't want his bedroom to be the naughty place or to be dreaded. 

Take RIGHT NOW for example. I have put him to bed for his afternoon nap. In the past he has never EVER had once got out of bed or fight to go to sleep (unless really unwell), well right now it is the second time that I have to pause and take him back to bed. *

In the last week there hasn't been one day that I haven't ended with a headache and so much frustration it is coming out of my ears and nostrils! Every single evening in the last week, Craig had to deal with their dinner, bath and bedtime because I am so snappy. This man is made of the purest gold. If he wasn't so helpful, I would probably be in a corner of the house rocking back and forth! 

Everyday I wake up full of hope that he will not challenge me as much. Every morning he walks into our room and lights it up with his gorgeous blond her and his little voice whispering "good morning". Thanks to him the first thing I do when I wake up is smile. Then the minute Craig is out of the door for work, it starts. It feels like it is a personal fight, it is between him and me. 

It is so tiring.  

But then when I walk into their room at night, I look at him and every bit of me fills with the most powerful love in the world, stained with the ugliest guilt. I feel guilty for not being able to keep cool, guilty for snapping and guilty for shouting. 

I want my lovely boy back, so what do you do when the naughty step doesn't work anymore? 

*since finishing this post I have visited his room five times and asked him in a rather loud manner to GO BACK TO BED!

Photo Credit Albert Bredenhann

Terrible Twos

Definition:

To hit the terrible twos: to hit head against wall because toddler decide to not cooperate in crucial moments such as when crossing the road. To scream at the top of one's head because one's child decide to play hide and seek in clothes rails in shops and won't listen when being called once, twice, twenty times. To loose one's marbles when toddler laughs at one's face when being told off.

It can go further than this I promise you!

Elliott is driving us mad! No later than 3 or 4 weeks ago I thought to myself that we were quite lucky since he seemed to go through a mild phase of terrible twos. Now you see I am quite good with tantrums, I find it pretty easy to ignore them. Quite often I might be walking around him while he is rolling around on the floor, acting as if he wasn't there. I think that's why he never has long tantrums. They stop very quickly and most of the time don't even start when distraction is offered really quickly. So I thought it is not that hard. This was until I discovered attitude, eyes rolling around and acting as if I wasn't there at all. You know that kind of look that says "that voice shouting at me, I wonder where it is coming from..." I just cannot cope with this, I hate being ignored!

No later than today we have spent a whole shopping trip taking things from his hands and putting them back on the shelves, while he would run away and touch something else. This whole shopping trip was constant stress and even if he was tied up to his pushchair (when it was too much to cope with) because then you would get the "let me out!" malarchy.

So I think that this is it, we are in the terrible 2's!

Now I read somewhere that Terrible Twos start as early as 9 months and can last until their forth birthday! Can we cope this long? Can we (the parent) get out of this phase without physical or psychological damage?!

Along with all the advice given to get through this phase here is what was recommended:

Try and stay positive (How?)... this is just a phase (Thank God for that!) and it is as hard for your child as it is for you (yeah right). Try to focus on the positive behaviour and enjoy your toddler as much as possible (ok I agree). When it all gets too much (leave the house), have a little book that you could call "Your naughty moments" and write about his tantrums. First it will help you see that it is not that bad, then you will be able to read them with him later, and hopefully both of you will have a great laugh! (NOT THAT BAD?! Who are they fooling?!!! It is bloody hard!)

If you are really down one day, because it seems that the day has been a long battle (and you just want to give up), take time off just for yourself when your partner comes home. If you are single or without the help of your partner on hand (you are my hero), maybe ask a friend or family (or people you really hate) to look after the children for at least a couple of hours. It will give you some time on your own (to reflect on what you have done in your past life to deserve this). Use that time to do something positive for you, that you enjoy doing (shopping with husband's credit card). It can be anything as long as you are having fun and you are feeling relaxed (with hubby's credit card you bet we will be having fun!).

And last is my personal suggestion: if none of this work, try Meditation... mediTAtion I said not mediCAtion!

Ok now I am waiting for good, juicy, laugh out loud Terrible Twos stories! Over to you...